Is Daddy home?

Shaq, it's time to answer the call. You have been able to help this Heat team grow and get accustomed to your presence. You have been able to put together a very nice record and turn a lot of heads while on cruise control. Time to rev up the engine and use that diesel power we are always talking about. Why? Listen to this:

"Write this down. If he can't go out and bang, if he can't get two or three feet underneath the basket, he is ineffective. My goal is to keep him out of the paint. That is not an easy task to do. That is easier said than done. But I am going to try to keep him out of the paint and see how good he is. I challenge him to take a jump hook. Take a couple jump shots. I bet you he can't do that. Of course he is going to complain about flopping because he has to be inside to score buckets. If he doesn't get inside to score buckets, he might as well give the ball to Dwyane Wade and move back."

Say what? Somebody making that type of claim must be pretty damn good, maybe even an MVP candidate like Kevin Garnett or Tim Duncan. Or perhaps even Shaq's nameless pal out in L.A., right?

Nope. It was Danny Fortson. You remember him, right? Because I barely do.

Is this the same Danny Fortson that I know? The one who cant play a whole season because of some injury? Such bad luck being the only thing keeping him from an all-star berth. Let me get this straight then, you weren't flopping, Danny? You were just playing good, fundamental defense? Because I have never seen anyone coach up a post defender by telling him to get good positioning laying on his back on the floor. Ol' Danny boy, seasoned vet with a game that talks for itself? Nah. The only way he is going to gain recognition is by talking a good game.

This is laughable. No, hysterical. I have seen less flops from Vlade Divac. And Ben Affleck. Heck, I haven't seen a guy take to the floor like that since Mr. Clean. It was like Fortson kept fainting out there. Or his jersey was on fire.

So, while Pollyanna pops off about defending you, Shaq, why not remind him why you dont have to use a jump hook? Why not demonstrate for him what it is like to play against you when you want to take over a game? Or when the refs aren't blowing their whistles like French police on Bastille Day.

Show up and let Fortson know who his daddy truly is.