Shaq abducted by aliens

What the hell is going on with Shaq?

I mean, it isn't just the Kobe Bryant handshake, hug, and make out session BEFORE the game. It isn't even the voices in his head that he claims to be responding to - such voices as Pat Riley and Bill Russell. What is bothering me is the apathetic style of his game.

Sure, he dunked pretty nasty off a rebound rim-shattering put-back on Bynum. And with one look, it is priceless. But what happens next? Bynum spins off of Shaq in the post to get a wide open dunk - and thunderous applause from the Laker faithful. Dr. Buss, meanwhile, is yelling 'I told you so' from his seat.

It isn't his stats, either. Shaq continues to be efficient from the field, shooting 54% and grabbing 9.8 rebounds in 28.3 minutes. The latter two stats are down versus his career, but seeing as the Big Fella is at the tail end of his career, and has probably the best backup of all time behind him in Zo, that is to be expected.

What it is that does bother me, and lead me on this investigative path, is his lack of ferocity. Shaq just doesn't get the great positioning he used to get. Some will cite the recent NBA rule changes that allow for a 'pre-doubling', as Riley calls it - where post players can be doubled before the entrance pass is made by loitering defenders. Shaq isn't getting the spacing to work.

That isn't it though either. Shaq is just not getting deep into the post and is letting the likes of Danny Fortson, Robert Swift, Chris Mihm and even Greg Ostertag give him fits. You could see it on his face tonight: getting pushed - the audacity! - by a jumpy Andrew Bynum. Frustration set in and he tossed a mighty elbow into Bynum. Double techs ensued, and the dust settled.

There can only be one conclusion, since Shaq has gotten the team he wants, the players he wants, and the coach he wants: the real Shaq has been abducted by aliens. It must have happened sometime before the playoffs last season. Sure, he supposedly had a bruised thigh that never healed fully for him going into the playoffs. I think, maybe, it was the clone inserted in his place by the aliens that wanted to see a Pistons/Spurs finals. That Ben Wallace is quite a sex symbol on Mars, believe it or not. Or so Bill Russell has told me.

But seriously, the pundits will start second guessing things now and the path must get ever tougher for Riley and Co. The old Shaq is not here, but replaced with, well, an old Shaq. Maybe it wasn't aliens after all. Maybe Shaq is done? Maybe it is like when the Berlin Wall fell (and soon after the Soviet Union), the U.S. as the lone superpower and hegemon, had no equal to counter. Or like when Carthage fell (Cartago delenda est!) leaving Rome alone in the Mediterranean. So, Shaq is somewhat bored, with no one to counter him and drive him; no one to push him but himself because he is in a league by himself.

Nah, must be the aliens.

Dont Panic

The Heat lose to the Suns, convincingly, and all of the sudden, the sky is falling.

Why?

I guess amnesia is running rampant among the Heat nation these days. People seem to have forgotten, what we just witnessed last night was a re-run. Almost identical to last season's matchup with the Suns in Phoenix. Only, that game was played on the 11th of January, as opposed to the 6th. And the Suns tallied 40 points in the first quarter instead of 47.

The first quarter blowout in both games was achieved almost identically though - on hot shooting. The Suns were 9-11 from three point range in that first quarter last night. You could almost say that God didn't want the Heat to win last night, faced with those kind of odds. But the same thing happened last year, as the Suns blistered the Heat with a first quarter that saw a very high percentage of shots go in the basket (1-4 from 3 point range, but 16-26 from the field).

So, all the apologists and hordes of fans filled with hindsight about last year's team being better, well, better lay off.

The fact is, the Heat didn't have Wade and Williams for this round, and managed to only lose by 18 (111-93) while last year they lost by 15 (122-107) at full strength. And you might as well pretend Shaq didn't show up last night, too, seeing as he only played 23 minutes in a disappearing act.

Funny how a 7'1" 330lb man can disappear on center court. But, that is another story.

So, what is all this panic about? The Heat would go on to struggle last season as they probably will during this road trip as well. They would even venture on to an OT loss to the Clips last season on that same road trip. It was tough, but that team was growing - as this team is, too. They are in the midst of a slump, and still trying to bang out with healthy bodies and adjust to Riley's coaching presence and substitutions. They will most likely struggle on this trip, too.

Just keep in mind, that we have seen this before. This is the forge from which champions are created. The tempers will flare, the inconsistencies will rear their ugly heads. The team will unravel. But then something marvelous happens - they start to get it.

The team will adjust. They have been built to win and with the talent and the coaching they have, they will get the opportunity. It wont come straight away, it will come with growing pains, with struggle, with adversity.

So let Detroit flex its muscle. Let San Antonio continue to sharpen. But keep your eyes on your own test. This team must focus on itself and tune out the rest of the world, the rest of the the NBA.

Panic is not the call for the day. Let the dust settle. I am reminded, how does muddy water become clear again? By letting itself settle.

Let the muddy water lay still. Be patient. This is a work in progress.